Breaking the language barrier: empathy and vulnerability as bridges for connection
- Edith Hazel
- Mar 15, 2024
- 5 min read
Updated: Mar 16, 2024
Our ability to create an imagined reality from words made it possible for large numbers of strangers to cooperate effectively… Social cooperation is the key to our survival. Yuval Noah Harari
From a very young age, I was curious to learn another language besides Spanish, my mother tongue. Living on the border with the United States awakened in me, at an early age, the desire to understand English. Television programmes, music, shopping, travelling to the neighbouring country, and interacting with children who spoke both languages aroused the desire not only to understand but also to express what I wanted to say.
That didn’t happen entirely until many years later. Back then, in Mexico, English classes were only offered from middle school onward in public schools. And unfortunately, during those years, I could only master the basics of English. Curiosity took the backseat, while the challenges of social bullying during the adolescent years took precedence.
If someone had told me at that time that crossing the limits of my environment and my mindset would happen on the other side of the world, I would have thought, No way! Linguistic challenges such as turning English into my study and work language, having Polish as the preferred language of my children at home, and using English and Danish as my everyday languages to socialise have been as unimaginable as they are now possible.
I began my journey out of Mexico over twenty years ago. As a result of my bachelor’s studies, adventures, and subsequently, love and work, I learned more languages out of necessity and choice. Even with that drive, I must admit that at some point in each learning process, I have pondered, Why did I get into this? :) and the answer turns out to be the same. Using the local language—the one that excites you or the one spoken worldwide—connects. Understanding and using different languages not only increases access to knowledge and stimulates intellectual development but also makes people connect with their vulnerability, encourages intimacy and empathy, and fosters collaboration and optimism.
Today, there are dozens of tools to learn languages beyond books and a dictionary, and yet the first aid for a language barrier is not an online translator or a language app. They are the affective ties that are created in the learning process, which I consider the basic elements of survival for anyone who has the will to overcome a barrier like this.
Because if we talk about language hurdles when migrating, it is evident to consider situations such as unequal job and educational opportunities, financial instability, or how complex it can be to gain access to essential services, such as a simple doctor’s appointment. However, insufficient emphasis is placed on the impact that a language barrier has on forming a new social circle, the loss of a sense of community, the shock to emotional strength, and the detachment of the ego to be able to receive and ask for help in activities that were previously done alone.
Dealing with these barriers and problems efficiently builds individual power and, as a result, the power of everyone around us. On the other hand, failing to do so increases the risk of failing to adapt, living in denial, excluding oneself from living what one desires, and locking oneself off from forming new affective relationships.
Today, I understand that this final stage is difficult for individuals who are experiencing it, but it may also be transitory if wanted. It takes time, and it’s critical to realise that there’s no rush. Learning a language, like adaptation, is a process, not a destination. Optimism and patience are components of resistance, or, more accurately, resilience.
There are many embarrassing and frustrating moments along the way when words fail you and you are unable to express yourself independently and confidently. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve questioned myself, “What am I doing here?” When some locals got angry because they didn’t understand what I was saying, when I did presentations at school with trepidation, when I took a translator to appointments with doctors and offices, when I gave birth to my children while understanding little of what was said around me, when I attended work meetings in which only the local language was used and my level of comprehension was lacking, or when I got temporary mental blocks in stressful situations. However, reflecting on my own experience with this topic, I recognised that shared personal values serve as a bridge between obstacles and a sense of adjustment.
Empathy, encouragement, tolerance, patience, and solidarity from locals and strangers have provided me with the external strength I needed at times to silence any worry or pessimism. They are the people who, by expressing these values, broke the language barrier and changed my separate self into a community self. Reflecting on those same values has enabled me to flow with citizens of origin and people from diverse cultures and with different linguistic abilities than mine.
Breaking down linguistic barriers has been and continues to be a collaborative endeavor. People who share the vulnerability (courage or fear) of not knowing develop a sense of camaraderie. We support and encourage one another, thus making the unfamiliar familiar. This is how we overcome the difficulties of a language barrier. So, at some point, we give back to the community by serving as tutors, mentors, or volunteers for those embarking on the same journey.
The ability and responsibility to create our story through language are ours. And if speaking in multiple languages increases our chances of connecting heart to heart, the effort is repaid with the honour of sharing our stories with the rest of the world. We all have accents and will probably make many mistakes along the way. However, as they say, out there, it’s never too late to learn or otherwise unlearn limits. Neuroplasticity studies has made it very clear! Let nothing stop us from creating memories, disarming barriers, and appreciating the path we have walked, because it’s worth it.
5 reflection questions to create bridges of connection
How can I be supportive today and foster a sense of community?
How inclusive am I?
Is it true that I’m listening to comprehend, or am I beginning to judge?
Do I let myself be vulnerable when I’m at a loss for words?
What are the times when the combination of perseverance and hope improves my life while moving me away from fear?
(*In 2017, Mexico’s Ministry of Public Education declared that beginning in 2018, all basic education schools in the country would be required to teach English.)
For more reflections on my experience living abroad, my work on self-awareness, and my perspective on career comebacks, follow me on:
Article written by Edith Escobedo
Photo by Vonecia Carswell on Unsplash
Thanks for sharing your time with me!
Edith
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