Turning Misunderstandings into Connections: Internationals Meet Danes

Edith Hazel
Aug 18
4 min read

Culture is not just an accessory to communication—it is the lens through which we interpret everything. — Erin Meyer, The Culture Map

“It’s about meeting people for coffee and building a relationship with them,” they said. But even a simple networking coffee or informational interview can reveal a mismatch in goals or expectations within the interaction.

An international might arrive eager to express their current struggles with acculturation, share their professional experiences, and connect on a personal level. Meanwhile, the Dane—professional and solution-minded—may come across as distant, dismissive, or quiet when others share their worries, focusing instead on practical advice and actionable outcomes. Both leave with the feeling that this might not have been the interaction they expected—yet there’s still a possibility of connection if space is created to truly understand each other’s perspectives.

Think about a first interaction at a networking event or during an informational interview. Were you hoping to build rapport, to share your story, to feel like you belonged in that space where the conversation was happening—and then left thinking, “That felt cold. Maybe they weren’t interested”? Or perhaps, as a Dane, you walked away thinking, “I gave them useful information, so that went well.” Neither is wrong. But looking back at that conversation, do you truly think you understood each other’s deeper intentions?

The Misinterpretation Gap

This gap shows up not only in networking but also in workplaces and social interactions. Internationals often express needs around connection, inclusion, and recognition. Yet Danes—shaped by cultural values of independence, equality, and self-reliance—sometimes hear these needs as dependency, criticism, or negativity:

Expressing the need for connection can sound “too needy.”
Sharing challenges can be misread as “complaining.”
Showing vulnerability may be mistaken for victimhood.

At the same time, internationals may also misinterpret the Danish way of engaging, especially in first encounters:

Danes’ openness in sharing personal stories can feel too intimate or intrusive for a first conversation.
Their directness in feedback can come across as rude or overly blunt.
Their efficiency and focus on practical solutions can feel like disinterest in building a relationship.

Both sides may leave the conversation with reinforced assumptions: the international feels unseen, the Dane feels unfairly judged.

Finding Common Ground

Yet beneath these misinterpretations lies the possibility for meaningful connection. Danes and internationals share values and traits that can build bridges—if brought into focus with intention and care.

Quality of ideas – Danish workplaces value substance. Internationals often bring fresh perspectives shaped by diverse experiences. When ideas are exchanged with openness, innovation thrives.
Work ethic & professionalism – Internationals often strive to prove themselves; Danes value reliability and consistency. When these align, they create mutual trust and respect.
Self-leadership – Cultures in general prize accountability, though it may look different in practice. Danes may express it through initiative and collaborative expectation, while internationals might show it through individual ownership. Recognizing these expressions as complementary can deepen collaboration.
Collaboration & curiosity – Both sides benefit when curiosity replaces assumption. Asking questions, listening actively, and staying open to different ways of working can transform misunderstandings into shared learning.
Humor & informality – Once the first layer of reserve is broken, humor and storytelling often unlock deeper connection. Danish informality can feel refreshing and inclusive when trust begins to build.
Reciprocal, escalating vulnerability – Connection grows when both parties take small risks in sharing. A personal story, a moment of honesty, a question that reveals genuine interest—these are the steps that turn transactional encounters into meaningful relationships.

Recognition and Belonging Go Both Ways

It is easy to frame recognition and belonging as one-sided needs internationals carry. But the reality is that these needs are universal:

Internationals want their skills, identities, and contributions to be valued.
Danes also seek recognition—not for being “hosts” but for living their values of equality, trust, and contributing to their community.

Belonging is not something internationals “demand” and Danes “ must give.” It is co-created when both sides acknowledge and appreciate each other’s contributions. For example, if both approach the first encounter with a desired intentionality—internationals with curiosity rather than trying to fit in, Danes with generosity instead of defensiveness to make space—that initial conversation can become meaningful.

Conclusion – The Win-Win

In cross-cultural communication, needs and values can get lost in translation. But when conversations are intentional and both sides listen with curiosity and emotional intelligence, misinterpretations give way to connection.

Self-coaching questions – To reflect on

For internationals: How do you show your need to connect or belong, and how might it be read differently across cultures?
For Danes: When someone shares a challenge or personal story, what assumptions do you make, and how might that shape your response?
Mutual reflection: What small steps can you take to create a sense of belonging for both yourself and others in any interaction?
Learning from misinterpretation: Think of a recent conversation that didn’t go as expected—what did it teach you about your own perspective and theirs?